My mother tried to kill me

Yesterday, mom and I went on our yearly Christmas shopping trip to the north GA outlet mall in Commerce. I had my cash, I was being good. Mom had her debit card, she was being good too....Until we got to Lane Bryant. She picked out 3 or 4 outfits and the total bill was $115 or so. The cashier asked if she wanted to save an extra 15% by applying for the credit card.

I looked at my mother (who went with me to the Dave Live event in 2009) absolutely horrified. "Mother, don't you do it....." She broke eye contact with me and said "yeah, why not?"

It took every ounce of composure I had to not have a hissy fit in the store. It doesn't make it any better in my eyes, but she did turn around and pay it right off right there in the store. After we left she was like "but I saved $15!!!!" and I was like "I don't care, I don't think it was worth it, and you know that...." I also said that if the bill comes in and it has $0.01 penny of interest on it, she had better call and raise hell.

I was completely mortified by the whole situation. I think she thinks I was being a drama queen about it. I don't think she realizes just how upset I was about it...

She's a grown woman. She can do what she wants, I guess.... 

Disheartened and feeling discouraged

I was working on our budgets for the next few months tonight, and the more I look, the more I can't seem to figure out how in the world we are possibly going to be able to meet the February 22nd goal of having the car paid off. I think we're still going to be a good $4000 shy. The reason for this is part of the money from Jonny's final semester of student loans that we were going to throw at it, we've had to decide to set aside in a savings account for him to take the Becker CPA prep courses, and exams later in the year. At first we were going to try to set a monthly sinking fund account to cover those expenses, but we need such a large bulk of money to pay when he registers, there's really no way for us to do a sinking funds account and make the amount of money we'll need on time for him to register.

Additionally, our regular monthly income is going to be decreasing due to the change in Jonny's GIBill status for his final semester in school. That's at least $400 less per month that he's going to be bringing in, than before...

He's going to try to get picked up by a tax firm for the upcoming tax season again this year. Hopefully, he'll be with a more recognized company and will be more successful this year than last.

I'm just down in the dumps. I got great news on the work front today....I wish my personal success would spill over to him. It's only a matter of time. One day he's going to be soo successful. I'm just tired of the hurry up and wait. It's been 2 years since we made this transition. TWO YEARS. Hey Obama, where are those damn jobs you promised us? My husband needs one, thanks. I'm irritated with myself because I won't allow myself to be excited about the progress we have made because I'm mad at the road blocks still in our way.

I shouldn't be this upset. Our original debt free date when we started was November 2013. Even if it's May or June before we're done, we'll still have cut that time in half. Why cant I just shut up and be okay with that?

I'm tired of being in debt. I'm tired of struggling. I am scared of what next summer and beyond is going to look like, if he's not working full time and the car is not paid off. I NEED that car to be paid off. At least with it paid off, my paycheck will cover all of our other regular monthly expenses. No, I wont be able to pay student loans when they come out of deferment, and heaven forbid, I have to turn around and ask for a hardship deferral, but I don't see any other way around it. I feel like we've worked so hard and come SO far, only to be running into a brick wall again, and it SUCKS.

The National Debt

After watching this 30 minute version of the documentary I.O.U.S.A., my ~100K in student loans doesn't seem so bad...

What I didn't expect, being the conservative Republican that I am, is to feel such a disgust at GWBush... I'm a very graphically minded individual, and the charts this documentary showed made me cry out in disgust as I watched it. Our amazing country, which borrowed only when necessary for war, and turned around and paid it right back, got stupidly addicted to debt....and individual Americans followed suit.

I didn't realize until watching this video how the Bush administration's cut of interest rates, which lead to stupid folks buying houses they couldn't afford, and the tax cuts, which were TOO aggressive - so aggressive that it DIDN'T actually result in a higher income, had the astronomical effect that it did....

I've been a long time Bush supporter, so this video shed some light that certainly bruises that support. While I don't believe he is to blame for everything that is currently wrong...the consequences we are suffering as a nation now, because of practices enforced during his term, are sickening.

According to the documentary, by 2040, our debts projected to be 244% of the GDP....completely unacceptable.

I'm too disgusted to write anymore.... I strongly recommend you watch this video.